It’s Only Words

Johnny’s Issues

Entire books have been written on the topic of misunderstood song lyrics. I have my own list, and I’m sure you could probably assemble one also. Recently, I heard Elvis Presley singing a song that I’ve misheard since I was very young. The song is “Return to Sender.” As a youngster, I’d understood the lyrics to be “Return to Cynda,” and presumed Cynda was someone with whom Elvis had broken up. So sad. But that reasoning didn’t make much sense in the context of the song. It was as if Elvis wanted the mailman to track down this person named Cynda without even providing an address for her (e.g., “Address unknown”). The U.S. mail service must have been different back then to provide such extraordinary service.

Even now when I hear the song, I still hear Elvis saying, “Return to Cynda.” But there are other examples I can give. As children, my sisters and I laughed at the lyrics to the CCR song “Bad Moon Rising.” We, of course, heard the lyrics to be: “There’s a bathroom on the right.” (misheard) “There’s a bad moon on the rise.” (actual)

Mr. Fogerty really should’ve been more careful with his enunciation. For my worst personal example, it has to be the song “Venus” from Shocking Blue. It was a number one hit in the US in 1970 and in the 80’s was recorded by Bananarama. The lyric in question: “I’m your Venus. I’m your funny man Jordan sire.” (misheard) “I’m your Venus. I’m your fire at your desire.” (actual)

Even knowing the correct words, it still doesn’t sound that way to me. A more recent example is the song “Havana” sung by Camila Cabello. A friend of mine refers to the lyrics as: “Havana Ooh-la-la.” (misheard) “Havana Ooh-nana.” (actual)

The “ooh-la-la” version could possibly be from a French interpretation of the song? Hard to say.

I think we are likely in for a whole new generation of misunderstood lyrics. This would be as a result of the current music trend to make people with poor speaking skills into pop stars. Post Malone has had a string of hits. But his singing style is very much reminiscent of Elmer Fudd with an added comical vibrato. He has catchy songs though.

Others in this group would have to include “Tough Guy” singer Billie Eilish. She makes whispering a song sound so gangster! “Dance Monkey” is another one sung with a strange little voice that is really out of the ordinary. Tones and I is/are singing this one. Hard to understand a word of the song.

Ariana Grande singing “7 Rings” and zips through the lyrics with rapidity that would rival any song from a Stephen Sondheim musical. Even Maroon 5 with their latest rip-off of Canon in D, has added an urban flair that is not present on any of their prior recordings. It is totally an affectation to keep them “hip” and relevant. While it is true, you can’t stop the beat. But you may not be able to understand the words that go along with it. C’est la vie.

Johnny McNally is Grimes County’s Best Dressed Businessman advocating for Grimes County.